A person who commented on one of my YouTube videos asked me to say something about my mental health before and after chelating for mercury. So here goes!
I think my first run-in with being nuts was when I was attending a girl’s boarding school in southern Virginia. They had an “honor system” there which meant you were supposed to report yourself and lose points if you broke certain rules. You were also on your honor to report other girls if they broke those rules, or at least go and tell them to report themselves. I remember the first student meeting I attended that was led by my cousin Kathy who was president of the student council. She explained this thing to us and mentioned that you were on your honor to report yourself if you went “out of bounds.” When she said this, I was hit with a horrible, physical sense of dread. I wondered if I had inadvertently broken the honor system before I knew the rules, and whether I had to report myself or not. Another part of the honor system was certain things were labeled “white flag.” “White flag” meant you were on your honor not to do them or touch them. The old buildings had pipes everywhere and a sprinkler system and these were labeled “white flag.” It was impossible not to touch them and I was always reporting myself and then I would see other girls touching the damn things and I would be in agony over what to do. I knew that I was being ridiculous and would look foolish so I didn't, but I suffered a lot over this for almost two years.
I think that anxiety is a condition that you have or get which roots around for something to focus on. When I lived in India, I worried constantly about getting thrown out of the country for overstaying my visa. I would wake up in the morning and check my mood and think I was okay, but then the anxious thoughts would come crowding in and there they were droning at me all day. I worried about money a lot, too. (Anxiety loves this topic!) I remember wondering why I had to suffer with this chronic worry. The people around me were in similar situations and they seemed as happy as clams.
When I came back to the States from India, my father took me to his dentist. This guy took x-rays of my teeth and said that the Indian dentists had done a terrible job and he drilled out all my amalgam fillings and refilled them with new amalgam. After that I had a kind of nervous breakdown. I cried all day for weeks. My brother thought I was using hard drugs.
In my fifties, living in Vermont, I ran a very difficult food processing business. There was plenty to worry about and anybody doing what I was doing would have been perfectly justified worrying all the time. But on top of the anxiety I came down with a terrible case of depression. I became a sodden mess, again. Advertisements on TV with touching stories would make me cry. Advertisements for banks would make me anxious about money.
Finally, I called my neighbor who was a doctor and asked him for help. He gave me a prescription for Paxil. The Paxil gave me a panic attack, but I thought it was my depression getting worse and the drug hadn’t worked yet. All I could do was stand in the corner of my living room facing the wall while my poor family hovered around nervously. My anxiety fixed on a big insurance payment for my business that was coming due and which I didn’t have the cash to pay. Finally, I called back the doctor who freaked out, told me to stop the Paxil, and gave me an anxiolytic. After that I switched to Prozac which didn't seem to bother me and I took that for several years. This experience made me understand how people can kill themselves out of mental anguish. I didn't feel that I was going to do that, but I under